As I thought about what to write, I was thinking on the topic for the Titus 2 retreat weekend – Oaks of Righteousness. When I think of oak trees, I think of something very strong and very solid – something that is not easily swayed. So, I was thinking, what can I share that would encourage my sisters to be solid and not easily swayed? Then it hit me; I should share something that I know a lot about – self-control. I know so much about self-control, not because I am the most self-controlled person that you will ever meet, but quite the opposite. I have struggled with self-control and discipline throughout most, if not all, of my walk with God. Because I have struggled with this so much, God has spoken to me on this topic quite frequently! So, the following is just a bit of what God has shown me.
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
Proverbs 25:28 (ESV)
Without some background information, this verse may not mean as much to us today as it did to the people who first heard it. After all, our modern cities do not really have walls, so we may not understand the implications of being “without walls”. But to ancient cities, a wall around a city was everything. Attacks were not uncommon during this time and a wall around a city was its main defense against those attacks. In fact, the very meaning of the Hebrew word for “city” (‘iyr) means “a place guarded by waking or watching”. So, if a city was not guarded, it was not doing what it was meant to do. For example, in Nehemiah (1:3; 2:17), when the Israelites have finally returned to Jerusalem after Babylon has basically destroyed their city and held them captive for years, the author says that the people who live there are in disgrace because the wall is still broken down and they have not rebuilt it. So, we can gather that if we do not have self-control, then we are not guarded; we are disgraced; we have lost one of our main defenses.
But what exactly is self-control? According to Webster’s Dictionary, self-control means “to exercise power over oneself; to restrain oneself; to govern oneself”. The Hebrew word used in this verse (ma ‘tsar) means “restraint; control”. We can further understand the meaning of this word based on its use in Scripture. Several authors, including Paul (in Titus and I and II Timothy), use the word to mean resisting temptation. We see that self-control is “restraining” ourselves from our desires, passions, emotions, environment, etc. Essentially, we are making our “flesh” submissive to a higher Authority and reason, rather than allowing ourselves to act on its every whim.
Now that we understand some of the background information of this verse – the importance of a wall, what self-control is and what exactly it is that we are controlling – we are more equipped to grasp the implications and see how it applies to our own lives. Throughout the past several years, God has really used this particular verse in my life and shown me several important concepts from it. I have already implied one – without self-control we leave ourselves vulnerable for attack. Satan knows our weaknesses and WILL attack where we are vulnerable – where we lack self-control. Another lesson that I have learned from this verse is that when we lack self-control, then temptation inevitably leads to sin. Please don’t misunderstand me – I am not saying that temptation equals sin! After all, Jesus was tempted, yet was without sin! What I am saying is that if we do not possess at least some self-control to resist temptation, then as soon as we are tempted, we will sin. Without a defense, there is really no chance of winning the battle. One commentary that I read described it this way: “when [the man who lacks self-control is] provoked… all that is good goes out and forsakes him; all that is evil breaks in… anger leads to murder; lust leads to adultery…” and so on. True, this is a bit extreme, but it is what would happen if we had NO self-control. The third thing that God has spoken to me is that without self-control, there will be no peace in our lives. Without my defense in place, I will lose battle after battle and never have rest. Now, this is not to say that it will be a piece of cake even when we possess self-control – it won’t! But at least with self-control I can rest in the fact that my defense is rooted in God and I WILL put up a fight! This leads to the last and most important thing that God has shown me. Our self-control can only come from God! I tried for years to “get my act together” but always failed. I was trying with my power, or lack thereof and it simply was not good enough. I have found that when I rely upon God for strength to build up my self-control, I am much more successful!
As I wrap up, I just want to challenge you to look at your life and look at it truthfully. As women we are specifically called to have self-control. In Titus 2:4-5 (ESV), Paul tells the older women to “train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure… that the word of God may not be reviled.” Further if we look at the Proverbs 31 woman it is easy to see that she is a woman who possess self-control. She is constantly working, caring for her family as well as others in the community. A woman would have to have self-control and discipline to accomplish that! So I encourage you to examine your own “walls” and see if there are any cracks or even whole chunks missing. Ask God how you can strengthen your “wall” and then be open to what He tells you. In my life, God told me to do some hard things – control what food goes into my body, give up my sleep-in time to go to Early Prayer, regulate how much time I spend in front of the television – just to name a few! However, even though it has been hard I have felt the peace of having my defense strengthened and firmly rooted in God. So, look to God, lean on Him and be strong!
Jen Snyder
